Full Load: A Second Chance Romance Read online

  “Axel, Annie.” He gave both of us a nod, but didn’t meet our eyes. His lips were a grim line. “I thought I might find you two out here.”

  “What’s going on?” I asked, my voice hitching. “Are we in trouble for being out here?”

  “No, no.” Sheriff Anderson shook his head and dragged a hand down his face. Suddenly, he looked very tired and very old. “Listen, kids. I don’t know how to tell you this. I’ve thought it over in my head a million different ways, and none of them sounded right. So, I’m just going to get it out there.” He took a deep breath. “There’s been an accident.”

  4

  Five Years Later

  My old childhood home loomed before me. Every cell in my body itched to yank the car into reverse, slam my foot on the gas pedal, and hightail it straight back to New York City. It had been five years since I’d laid eyes on this place. And for good reason. I’d never planned to come back, but Tennessee was like an anchor I couldn’t shake, dragging me into the past I’d desperately tried to leave behind.

  Not my sister though. She’d stayed here even after everything that had happened, and she was waving at me from the front porch, her wispy blonde hair tied up in a messy bun. It was exactly how she’d worn her hair in high school. That was the thing about small towns. So much never changed, not the good and especially not the bad.

  Bracing myself, I cracked the door and stepped out into the early autumn air. The yard was carpeted in gold and orange leaves, and the scent of burning firewood drifted into my nose. The smell alone sent a flood of memories roaring through my head, and I had to put a hand on the roof of the rental to keep myself steady. There was so much history wrapped up in this place. It wasn’t just this house. It was all of it. It was this neighborhood where we’d spent our whole childhood lives running barefoot through dewy backyards and riding our bikes down the quiet country lanes, wind whipping against our sun-kissed faces. It was this town, a tiny pocket of civilization in the middle of rolling fields and thick woods that stretched out for miles. Everyone knew everyone and everything about them. And the past stayed in their minds and on their tongues for decades. My history was their history. It was inescapable.

  Unless you got the hell out, like I had.

  Whitney rushed down the porch and threw her arms around my neck, pulling me in close. She smelled of lavender, of vanilla, of home. “Annie, thank the heavens you finally came. I was half scared you’d be a no show.”

  She pulled back and flicked her deep green eyes across me, eyes that matched my own. “Welcome home, sis. It’s good to have you back.”

  “You know I’m only staying a week,” I said quickly. My voice next to hers sounded so different. Over the years, my southern twang had drifted away, but Whitney’s sure hadn’t.

  She sighed and shook her head, disappointment clearly etched in the lines that had started forming around her mouth in the past couple of years, even though she was just a year older than me. Laugh lines. Whitney was happy here, in a way I’d never been able to comprehend. “Is it really that bad being back home, Annie? I haven’t seen you in a year.”

  Whitney had always made it a point to visit me in New York, which had been for the best because I refused to come back to this place. She couldn’t afford the plane ticket more than once a year on her teacher’s salary, so it had been a long damn time since I’d seen her face. She looked just as I’d remembered though. Seeing her felt good, and an ache in my bones eased just a bit.

  “Of course I’m glad to see you,” I kept my eyes forward, refusing to glance at the house on the right, the house that held as many memories as ours, if not more. A house where the occupant from my childhood still lived, according to Whitney. My heart began to pump hard. We were so exposed out here like this. I needed to get inside the house before he looked out his window and saw me standing here like a ghost from a past life. “But you know why this is hard for me. I honestly don’t understand how you can stand being here, especially after what Derek did to you.”

  “Because this town is my home, Annie.” Her voice went soft. “And it’s yours, too, no matter how much you try to deny it.”

  “It was my home,” I said. “But it’s not anymore.”

  A screen door squealed on its hinges, an old familiar song. My mouth went dry, and no matter how hard I tried, my head pivoted toward the house next door. All the air in my body went poof all at once, leaving my head reeling and my lungs desperately gasping to breathe. It was him. He stood there holding open the screen door, looking both completely the same and totally different.

  “Axel,” I whispered, drinking in his rippling biceps and the thick stubble that swept across his strong jaw. His dark hair had been cut short, highlighting the pure ruggedness of his face. He looked taller, thicker…sexier. It left my mouth dry. He’d been the hottest guy in our small high school, and now…now he was Axel Lee times ten.

  Axel Lee. The love of my life.

  The love I’d left behind.

  5

  Every damn time I walked out my front door, I turned my head toward the house next door. My eyes would lock on the spot where Annie’s little green Volkswagen Bug used to sit with its chipping paint that matched the color of her eyes. It had been five fucking years, and I still couldn’t shake the habit. She hadn’t been back in all that time, and her creaky car had long since gone.

  One day, I told myself. One day I’d finally stop looking over there as if I expected to see my Annie standing there, her fiery eyes flashing and her sundress whipping against her long legs. I’d stop imagining that I would see her and she’d see me, and it’d be like she’d never left.

  One day I’d stop. Just not yet.

  So, I pushed open the screen door, took a deep breath of the crisp autumn air, and flicked my gaze to the house next door.

  And the ground tilted underneath my heavy boots.

  In all my fantasies, she’d never looked this damn good. Her wavy brown hair cascaded around her shoulders, longer than it had ever been in high school. Every curve of her soft body was accentuated in a pair of tight dark jeans and a light blue sweater that dipped just low enough to show off her amazing pair of tits. She didn’t look like she’d aged a goddamn year.

  Her eyes met mine, her cheeks suddenly flushed, and her mouth widened into an O.

  Annie fucking Jackson was here. And she was just as shocked to see me as I was to see her.

  I should have known. Her sister hadn’t said anything about Annie coming into town, and I had a feeling she’d left out that little detail on purpose. She’d known I would have said no about helping her out this week. Hell, I probably would have picked up some trucking shifts from work just to stay away. Well, maybe I would have…hell, I wasn’t sure I would have been able to drag myself away no matter how hard I tried.

  Because a part of me deep down inside wanted to rush across the lawn and sweep her up into my arms. Though another part dampened those emotions real fast. Annie had a lot of fucking nerve showing up here like this without any warning. I hadn’t heard from her in all this time. No phone calls, no text messages, not even a fucking email.

  All this time I’d been missing her gorgeous face, and I’d forgotten one damn important fact. I was mad as hell at Annie, and it would take a lot more than popping up looking sexy as hell for me to ever forgive her for the way she’d left.

  The way she’d left me.

  “Axel, what’s wrong?” Beth asked from behind me.

  In my shock at seeing Annie, I’d forgotten that Beth was the reason I’d come out on the porch in the first place. Hell, I’d forgotten that she was even here.

  Dragging my eyes away from Annie, I shifted aside and held open the screen door while Beth scooted out onto the porch. She gave me a small smile and and shrugged her jacket around her shoulders as the wind brushed against her blonde waves. Beth was a gorgeous girl, a wholesome type who liked to bake apple pie and grow vegetables in a garden. If I were anyone but me, I would have loved to get that girl
in my bed. Hell, most of the town thought already had.

  But I wasn’t any other guy. I was me. Hung up on a girl who’d left me hanging for five fucking years.

  “Thanks again,” Beth said in a sweet and soft voice. “See you next week.”

  “No problem, Beth,” I said with a smile, all too aware of Annie’s eyes burning a hole in my face. I could feel her staring at me, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop myself from glancing her way again. There she stood, her little fists balled by her sides, flames dancing in her eyes. I would have recognized that look on her anywhere.

  She was spitting mad. And she’d read the situation just like everyone else in town always had. She thought I was fucking this girl. Satisfaction curled in my gut, and I let the grin crest on my lips. If she wanted to think I’d moved on in her absence, then I wasn’t going to do anything to stop her. In fact, all I wanted to do was egg it on. See how she likes it.

  I dropped a hand on Beth’s shoulder and leaned down to whisper in her ear. “You did great this week.”

  Beth gave me a funny look but just laughed. “Thanks Axel! See you later.”

  She scooted past my tractor trailer and hopped in her car at the end of the drive, and I stood there watching her go. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Annie still staring at me, and I could hear the hushed whispers of her sister. I couldn’t hear their words, but I knew they were talking about me.

  They should have remembered how easily sound travelled between these two houses. When we’d been little, we could each sit in our own yards and have conversations for hours. I remembered how she’d read aloud from her favorite books after I’d had yet another shitty day, and how her soft voice had lulled me to sleep. I remembered when we’d started getting older how Annie would lay outside on a beach towel, soaking up in the sun in her bikini, trying to get my attention.

  She’d gotten my attention alright. As soon as she’d decided she wanted me, I was hers.

  I remembered everything.

  Her smile, her laugh, her body underneath my hands.

  I wanted her just as much as I always had. But I sure as hell wasn’t going to let her know that.

  6

  Emotions warred inside me, emotions I’d long since buried. Jealousy, anger, and a sadness that filled my tired bones. I shouldn’t have been surprised or upset that Axel had moved on with his life, filling my vacant shoes with someone else. I’d made my choice and left my life with him behind. We hadn’t even spoken in five years. Of course he was going to have someone else now. He wouldn’t want to be lonely, any more than anyone else.

  But the logic and rightness of it all didn’t stop the hurt that filled my heart.

  “Come on, let’s go inside,” Whitney hissed, pulling on my arm. My feet didn’t want to follow. They wanted to stay rooted to the spot, forcing me to reap what I’d sowed, forcing me to see Axel, looking better than he ever had before, saying goodbye to the new love of his life.

  The new love that wasn’t me.

  But Whitney was as stubborn as I was, and she managed to get me inside the empty house with the old familiar walls blocking me from seeing any more.

  “You didn’t tell me he had a new girlfriend.” I ignored the hitch in my voice and leaned against the closed door.

  Whitney regarded me carefully. “Axel doesn’t really do girlfriends these days.”

  “What?” I barked out a harsh laugh. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “I think you know damn well what that means,” Whitney said. “Men are all the same. They want one thing, and then they cast you aside to move onto the next piece of ass.”

  Tears bubbled up in Whitney’s eyes, and her body began to shake. Suddenly, I felt ashamed and guilty for being so self-absorbed. I wasn’t here to talk about what I’d once had with Axel Lee. I was here for my sister and my sister only. She needed me right now, and I wasn’t going to let whatever I was feeling stop me from being there for her when she needed me the most.

  “Come here, Whit. Cry it out,” I said, opening my arms and pulling her in close. She pressed her face into my neck, her tears pooling on my skin. Her sobs shook her body, but I held her steady, just as she’d held me so many times before. She’d been my rock, my anchor, over and over and over again. And it was time I did the same damn thing for her.

  “You’re going to be okay,” I whispered into her hair, my voice echoing in the empty house. “You’ll be better off without that asshole. You were far too good for him anyway.”

  She pulled back, meeting my gaze with watery eyes. “Apparently he didn’t think so.”

  “He’s an idiot,” I said with a snap. “Of course he wouldn’t realize he had the best person in the whole world right there in front of him.”

  Whitney smiled through her tears. “Thanks for coming, Annie. I know how hard it was for you to come back, but I couldn’t do this without you.”

  “Of course I was going to come back.” I brushed her tears from her cheeks. “You’re my sister and my best friend, and I’m sorry I haven’t been around much these last few years.” I took a deep breath and nodded. “But that’s going to change now, staring with moving your belongings back into this house. When do you want to make the first trip? Not much will fit in my rental car, but we can get some of your smaller things today, at least.”

  “Well.” Whitney began to nibble on her bottom lip, and a small seed of dread sprouted in my gut. I knew that look. It was the one she used to wear just before telling Mom and Dad that she’d been up to something they clearly weren’t going to like. My silly sister always came clean though. It wasn’t in her bones to hide the truth.

  “What is it, Whitney?” I pulled back and crossed my arms over my chest. “You’ve got that look on again.”

  “Please don’t get upset,” she said, continuing to nibble. “But there weren’t a lot of options. The local U-Haul place went out of business a couple years ago, and he saw me coming around here a few times and wanted to see how I was doing…and then he just…offered to help, you know, since he has a whole fleet of trucks now.”

  Butterflies swarmed through my belly. “Axel. You asked Axel, of all people, to help you move.”

  “No.” She held a finger in the air. “He offered to help, and I didn’t say no.”

  “Did you happen to mention to him that I’d be here helping, too?” I raised my eyebrows. If she had and he’d been fine with it, then why the shocked look on his face when he’d seen me standing in the driveway?

  “No, he might not have been told about that part of the whole thing…” Whitney grimaced. “Look, I’m sure it will be fine.”

  I shook my head, my dark wavy strands slapping me in the face. “No way. This isn’t happening. You have to go over there and tell him that there’s been a change of plans, and you will no longer need any kind of assistance from him where he’ll be in my presence, carrying heavy things around all sexy-like.”

  I just couldn't do it. As much as I loved my sister, this was too much. Spending a day, or more, hauling furniture and cardboard boxes in and out of his truck, the one where we'd spent more than one night together…memories threatened to flood through my mind, and I had to push them back. Blocking them out had been the only way I'd been able to bandage over the hole in my heart where Axel had once lived. Opening myself back up to those memories and all of those feelings from before would only rip the wound right back open again.

  "Are you really sure that's how you want to deal with this?" Whitney asked quietly, her eyes meeting mine in a pierce, unwavering stare. "If I go over there and tell him ‘nevermind’ right after you show up, then he's going to take that to mean that you aren't over him. Is that what you want him to think?"

  I blanched, knowing that Whitney was right even though I didn't want her to be. After seeing how much he'd moved on with another woman, I couldn't bear to have him think that I was still so hung up on him that I couldn't allow him to help me and my sister. How freaking mortifying would that be
?

  "Fine," I said after a few moments of silence. "But we only need him for like a day, right?”

  I couldn’t believe I was agreeing to this. It was insane. Axel of all people, helping us move. I had a sneaking suspicion Whitney had done this on purpose. Set us up so that we were forced to spend some time together in close proximity. Did she think we’d get back together? It was so out of the realm of possibility that I had to bite back a bitter laugh.

  I might have been the one to leave Axel behind, but I’d long suffered for it, and I always would.

  7

  I braced myself for the knock I knew was coming. A part of me didn’t want to hear the sound of fist on wood, but another part—a much bigger, deeper part—yearned for it. The look of shock Annie’s face had said a million more words than her sister had. She didn’t know that I had agreed to help Whitney move. Maybe now that she did, she’d ask her sister to consider other options.

  There were a lot of men in this town who would be happy to help Whitney Jackson move her shit out of her asshole of an ex-boyfriend’s place. She was a gorgeous girl. Some even thought she was more gorgeous than Annie. I thought those men were dumb as hell and blind as bats to think anyone in the world looked better than my girl.

  And if Annie couldn’t handle being around me to move? Well, that also said a hell of a lot. So had the way she’d stared, her big green eyes widening, her cheeks flushing, and the way she’d clutched her neck with her hand. It was that look, the same damn one she’d had the night I was going to ask her to marry me.

  And then everything got ruined to hell.

  The knock came, loud and hard on the front door. I took my time, easing out of my recliner and making my way down the hallway. My heart hammered in my chest despite myself, nervous at the prospect of coming face to face with Annie after all these years. She could be on the other side of that door or she could not. And if she wasn’t…what the hell would that mean?